Thursday, October 28, 2010

I have a dream

I’ve been MIA from blogging for months. When you are injured for a very long time, and you aren’t really training or racing, doing the things that you really enjoy, its tough to think of something positive to write about. Not that one has to only write positive things, I’m sure if I looked back at what I’ve written, there is probably plenty that is not positive.

But I have had a few thoughts lately. Just a few. Related to triathlon, that is. And injury, of course.

I cannot tell you how many health care providers I’ve been to over the past year looking for the key to resolving my injuries. Several orthopedic doctors. Physical therapists. ART. Accupuncture. Massage. MAT. Countless hours reading books and crap on the internet, trying to sift through it all and come up with plans, try one for a while, try another for a while. Run much of it by Julia for her input. Out of pocket money spent. Hundreds. Insurance dollars spent. Thousands probably. Hours wasted (mostly by my fault, but also by not being able to get the right help). Months. Following up self-induced running injuries with a spectacular mountain bike crash resulting in a grade 2 AC separation. Priceless.

With all of this running to different health care providers, I had a vision. A vision of a sports injury clinic in every city. One staffed with an open-minded orthopedic doctor. And physical therapists educated in traditional PT, ART, MAT, acupuncture, massage. Nutritionists. A running coach who can do gait analysis (because, let’s face it, most injuries are running related, even if you are not strictly a runner, most sports require running). A one-stop shopping stop for injuries. Where all the doctors and PT’s help you or refer you to another specialist in their office who can help you. Why can’t we all just get along! And work together! I know the patients would be happier. Maybe not the health care providers.

OK. So, while I wish I had spent the summer training and racing. Life really wasn’t that bad (if I forget about the pain of the injuries). I enjoyed more free time. I cooked a lot more with my fresh locally grown CSA produce (I even made pumpkin pie two weeks ago from a pumpkin!). I have been training a little. Running frequently, very low mileage (I mean some days only 2 miles), and very slowly, and as often as possible on trails or grass (which is hard now on weekdays with the days getting shorter, and my daylight hours spent in the office). I’ve been riding my bike some. I cannot swim. The shoulder is very ANGRY at me. I’m working on it. Every day. I hope I can swim again. I am a swimmer. Always was. Always will be. I always dreamed of growing old, in a house on a lovely little lake, and getting up every morning and going for a lake swim, climbing out of the water, and sitting on the dock wrapped in a big blanker, sitting next to Todd, him drinking a cup of hot coffee, me and a cup of hot chocolate!, and my pooches at my feet.

So, I have been reading a bit. Books on training. Blogs on training. Blogs on racing. Interesting. Ones perspective changes when you can’t train and race. Even though I have no idea if I’ll ever be able to train again. I’ve been working on a training plan. I try to follow one now. Its pretty simple. But it’s a plan. Maybe in a few months it will have real workouts. Workouts where I push myself. Workouts where I do something perfectly. Workouts that in the end, make me smile. A race that leaves me with a smile would be great too. Heck, at this point, if I am able to do a race, it would leave me with a smile. So, for all of you folks out there who have disappointing races, smile! Its not the last race you will have (most likely). And no one else thinks any differently about you because of your race result. Your family, friends. Nope. My family and friends couldn’t give a shit that I’m slow and out of shape. Or that I haven’t done a race in a year. I have a friend who just did her last chemo treatment this past week. My father is living life again after major medical issues this spring. A young world class swimmer just perished in an open water swim race. My injuries are pathetically embarrassing in comparison.

So, life moves on. The sun goes down. The sun comes up. I keep hammering away at my health. I keep following all my friends exploits with enjoyment and inspiration. What a great summer of racing by you all! Friends who I know. Friends who I don’t know (I guess that doesn’t really make you a friend, but just someone I know). Pros. I was inspired again by the Hawaii Ironman. I still have a dream to do one again some day. I don’t know if my body will allow, but maybe. One day. And Xterra Worlds. I hope I can regain my mojo on my mountain bike and go back to that race. Next year would be nice :-)

The kids also want some face time, so here are the obligatory dog photos.